Aug 11

We’re a couple of lucky uncles!

In Abbey’s last letter to Tony Abbott she makes her final plea to please change the law!

What an amazing young woman she is.  At the age of 8 she seems to have a better grasp of the world and what needs to change than our own leaders do.

What’s really good to know is that the subject of marriage equality is a topic of conversation in her house.    That’s what we need.  People prepared to have the conversation and then to act and do something.

Have you done that?  Made your thoughts known?  Where does your elected representative stand?  Visit the Australian Marriage Equality website and find out, send your own letter today!

If she should ever hear from the PM, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Can’t wait to see what the next move is!

Thanks Abbey for your great efforts!

To Tony Abbott

This is my last letter

I’ve loved writing to you

Gay marriage is what my uncles should have

the right to do 🙂

Please, please change the law 🙂

from Abbey 🙂

 

 

Letter7

Letter 1 Letter 2 Letter 3 Letter 4  Letter 5 Letter 6

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Aug 10

Abbey knows that she’s just about at the end of her week-long letter writing campaign to the Prime Minister.  She restates just what it is that she’s looking for.

To Tony Abbott

I only have one more letter to you.

I would absolutely love it if you would

change the law about gay marriage.

from Abbey.

 

letter6

Letter 1 Letter 2 Letter 3 Letter 4  Letter 5 Letter 7

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Aug 10

Up to day 5 and Abbey makes it plain that even at 8 she understands that some people may be afraid of change.

To Tony Abbott

Change is normally for the best.

It’s okay to make a change to laws

and the way you think.

from Abbey

Letter5Letter 1 Letter 2 Letter 3 Letter 4  Letter 6 Letter 7

 

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Aug 09

Abbey’s letter writing campaign arrives at day 4.  She reminds the PM that while she understands he may be busy running the country, it’s polite to respond to your correspondence in a timely fashion.

Her question is unchanged.  Will he allow Michael and me, and all others who chose to, to get married in Australia?

 

To Tony Abbott

this is the 4th letter I am

writing to you about gay

marriage.

I haven’t had a reply from

you yet so when you have time

Please write back.

I know it’s hard running a

county.

Will you change your mind

about gay marriage?

from

Abbey
Letter4

Letter 1 Letter 2 Letter 3 Letter 5 Letter 6 Letter 7

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Aug 08

Abbey is determined to make her point to the PM.  She reminds him today that she will write to him for a week.

Letter 3

To Tony Abbot

I’m just reminding you that

I’m writing to you once a day for a

week because I would like the law

changed.  So that gay people can get

married.

Abbey age 8

Letter3Here is Letter 1 and Letter 2  Letter 4 Letter 5 Letter 6 Letter 7

 

 

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Aug 06

Yesterday Abbey wrote her first letter to the Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, and true to her word, my 8-year-old niece has written her second letter.

To Tony Abbott

I would like my uncles to be able to get

married in Australia.

Gay marriage is no different to

any other marriage because its only

about love and nothing else.

I would like the law changed

from

Abbey

Age 8

Thanks Abbey.  It is people like you who help change the world!

20140806 Abbey's second letter to Tony Abbott (edited+reduced)
Letter 3 is here Letter 4 Letter 5 Letter 6 Letter 7

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Aug 05

In my large family I have a lot of nephews and nieces.  Some are into their forties and the youngest is 8 years old.

I love spending time with Abbey and with her sister.  They’re great fun to be around.  We play together and explore the world from an 8 year old’s perspective.  We have lots of room for moose and treat them nicely.  They are always appearing and quickly disappearing.

She’s home sick today, and after coming to Michael and my wedding in New Zealand earlier in the year, she’s been wondering why we can’t get married in Australia.  I’m reliably informed that she has some questions for me and that she is learning how changes are made.

How awesome is it that a child can understand the inequality in our society and also work out how change can be started.  From her heart comes her plea and her question to the Prime Minister of Australia.

My niece is awesome!  Thanks Abbey.

Here’s her letter to the PM.

To Tony Abbott
my name is Abbey and I am 8 years old.
My unkls are gaye and we had to go to
New Zeland to have ther wedding it is going
To be on TV it’s called Living with the Enemy they
wont to get marred in Astralea but thats eligle
I will write to you once a day for a week.
P.S. I wold like the law changed.

20140805 Abbey's Letter
Read her 2nd letter and her 3rd letter.  Letter 4 Letter 5 Letter 6 Letter 7

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Aug 01

I’m pretty cross.

Today some up-and-coming would-be politician has resigned from the Liberal party because he got caught.  A few years ago he tweeted some homophobic comments.  He was lining up to stand at the next Victorian State Election and had a pretty good chance of getting into Parliament.  He had been preselected to replace a retiring MP and his world was looking good.

Then, as if out of nowhere, in 2014, his tweets come back to bite him.  Never mind that he appears to have deleted and closed the account that the tweets came from.

The breaking news in the Australian is described as such:

The Australian has obtained a series of tweets by Institute of Public Affairs research fellow Aaron Lane, who is also an endorsed state Liberal candidate at the November 29 state election.  The tweets attack homosexuals, refer to former federal Labor leader Simon Crean as a “giant C’’ and refer to masturbation. Mr Lane is a religious member of the Victorian Liberal Right, who uses the derogatory term “faggots’’ and writes: “The problem is (IMO) many homos make their sexuality a defining aspect of their being.’’  He also tells a Twitter friend: “Just because he didn’t (ejaculate) doesn’t mean you’re still a virgin, sweetie.’’ Another tweet declares that “shirts are for faggots’’.

As the story unfolds we are treated to screen-shots of the tweets and Liberal party members rightly tripping over themselves to distance themselves from Lane.  Lane is called in to explain himself.  Lane is requested to resign, he’s asked to step down and finally he announces he is withdrawing his candidacy.

Good thing too.  He is another religious-right fundamentalist who shouldn’t be anywhere near positions of power and authority.

In a personal apology Lane says this:

I am sure everyone has said things that, on reflection, we wish we had not said – regardless of the context. I am deeply embarrassed and ashamed of the language I used in these remarks. I am not a homophobic person. I regret using this juvenile language and understand the offense that it has caused. I apologise unreservedly.

This afternoon, I made the decision to resign as a Liberal candidate for Western Victoria region at the upcoming Victorian election. This was an extremely difficult decision. However, as a committed member for the Liberal Party for over a decade, I chose to put the Party’s interests above my own.

That’s an apology.  It’s never enough though.  The use of juvenile language and the offence are borne everyday by gay people the world over.  And I’m not at all sure about it being an extremely difficult decision.  Rather sounds like it was resign or be sacked.

On Melbourne’s 774 ABC he put some context around the tweets and it’s likely that he was messing around.  That may be the case.  It doesn’t excuse the behaviour.

Now all this is neither here nor there.  That’s not what makes me cross.

I’m cross because yet again the gayz have been used as a weapon to discredit someone.  We are yet again the pawn in some political fight.  We are yet again the plaything of the media. The Australian mysteriously getting copies of homophobic tweets on a political nobody, just months before an election has the hallmark of mud-slinging.  How to get rid of someone?  Easy, find a homophobic comment (that has been deleted) and use it as a weapon.

I’m really angry however about the double standard of the politicians.

Clem Newton-Brown is the Member for Prahran.  He had this to say about the incident:

The Premier Denis Napthine also says the right words.

Dr Napthine, speaking earlier today, savaged the comments.

“There is no place in my team or in the Coalition for this sort of behaviour and these sorts of comments,’’ Dr Napthine said.

Then why on one hand does the party move so quickly to distance themselves from homophobic tweets from a few years ago but do nothing about a sitting member of parliament attending a christian fundamentalist conference?

State Attorney-General Robert Clark is set to address a hardline pro-life event in Melbourne organised by a controversial US-based group dedicated to preventing abortion and the decriminalisation of homosexuality.
Less than three months before the November 29 state election, Mr Clark will deliver a “welcome to Victoria” speech to the World Congress of Families – an event which also features an American doctor promoting a discredited link between abortion and breast cancer, a promoter of Russia’s “crusade” against homosexuality, and representatives from the hard-right Rise Up Australia Party.

Not just any MP – it’s the Attorney-General heading off to address a bunch of christians who think that homosexuals need to be locked up.

You can’t get any of the Liberals to condemn the behaviour – people like Rodney have been trying:

https://twitter.com/rodneycruise/status/491106717019541504

He’s still waiting for an answer from Clem.  That’s the very same Clem that was nearly tripping over his own fingers to tweet quick enough condemnation of Lane.

The Labor party is no better.  Quick to jump on the bandwagon today, but to date I’ve not heard of anyone condemning their Federal Leader, Bill Shorten for being the keynote speaker at this years Australian Christian Lobby conference.   Yet another bunch that would like to see gay people persecuted.

Both of our major parties are quick to condemn the would-be politician before he even gets to the inner circle, but are not able to weed out from their own membership the homophobes and bigots.  Shame on the lot of you.

So pardon me while I stamp my feet a little.

toddlerpink

 

 

 

 

Jul 31

Dr David van Gend is a family doctor from Toowoomba.  He’s also the president of a group called Australian Marriage Forum. He’s written an open letter to the Australian Education Minister, Christopher Pyne. Van Gend is asking that Pyne reconsiders the decision to fund the Safe Schools program throughout Australia and goes on to quote a range of studies and provide information.   I understand that he is talking about Safe Schools Coalition Australia (SSCA), which the government is funding.  The program forms part of the National Safe Schools Framework and specifically the SSCA program is about creating safe and supportive school environments for same-sex attracted, intersex and gender diverse people by reducing homophobic and transphobic bullying and discrimination in schools.  I note that it’s about reducing and not eliminating.  The National Safe Schools Framework is described as  providing Australian schools with a vision and a set of guiding principles that assist school communities to develop positive and practical student safety and well-being policies.  A very noble cause indeed, and a clear recognition that bullying of students needs to be addressed, no matter what the cause. Reading van Gend’s letter isn’t much fun.  It’s the normal anti-gay stuff that I’ve seen a thousand times.  I’ve picked some of his more outrageous bits to think about:

The political justification for ‘Safe Schools’ programmes, or the associated ‘Gay-Straight Alliances’, is that there is a plague of gay-based bullying in our schools, and the only way to counter that is through celebrating homosexuality. That justification, however, is doubtful.

It’s not clear that there is a plague of gay-based bullying in schools, but the Growing Up Queer report released in February 2014 is reported in The Age (7/2/14):

A disturbing two-thirds of non-heterosexual young Australians have been bullied about their sexual orientation, according to a new report that reveals widespread homophobic harassment and violence in schools, at home, work and at sporting events. The Growing Up Queer report, to be released on Friday, also found 16 per cent of respondents had attempted suicide and 33 per cent had harmed themselves largely due to homophobic harassment – mostly verbal among students and, in some instances, teachers.

This is a current research paper with relevant Australian data based on a sample of  1,000 people.  The figures are disturbing and certainly not worthy of the being equalled to something of a plague.  If two-thirds of young gay people are being bullied then we need to address it. Van Gend goes on to quote a UK study, also of 1,000 people.  However, he attempts to use this study to minimise the impact of bullying on gay people.

In one large study comparing a thousand homosexual and heterosexual adults in the UK, published in the British Journal of Psychiatry in 2003, the researchers found no increase in bullying of gay men compared to heterosexual men, whether at school or subsequently, whether verbally or physically. “Reports that gay and lesbian people are vulnerable to such experiences because of their sexuality are often taken at face value”, these researchers noted, with other studies failing to draw a comparison to heterosexual students. In other words, there are many reasons to be bullied at school – for being too smart, too dumb; too fat, too weak; or for being “gay” even when you are not gay. A report in the news only last week finds one-third of 10-year-olds in Australia report being bullied for various reasons. That is something many young people go through, and the claim that homosexual people suffer disproportionate bullying appears to be “taken at face value”.

He omits the following sentence from the report:

Bullying at school was reported no more often in gay than heterosexual men, but the gay men who had been bullied regarded their sexual orientation as the main provocation. Gay and lesbian participants were more likely than heterosexual participants to have consulted a mental health professional in the past, regardless of current mental state.

It is quite telling that he cherry-picks his information to support his contention.  He uses a study that is over 10 years old, well before marriage equality was a reality in the UK.  There are plenty of recent studies around, it doesn’t take much to find them. Van Gend then moves the subject from school bullying to illicit drug use by gay people.  He seems to be suggesting from a 2010 report by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare that somehow gay people are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, but I’m not sure of the connection to bullying, nor does he really identifying why he is making that link.  A quick review of the 2013 AIHW report shows a decrease in the use of alcohol, specifically fewer 12–17 year olds are drinking alcohol and the proportion abstaining from alcohol increased significantly between 2010 and 2013 (from 64% to 72%). The misuse of alcohol and drugs is always disturbing, and van Gend is suggesting that it’s because gay people can’t cope and they turn to alcohol, when heterosexuals don’t cope perhaps they resort to letter writing instead of alcohol. Van Gend then makes some observations from his profession:

From my observations as a family doctor, the pressures that depress a young gay man are more intrinsic than extrinsic: the sense that something has gone wrong deep inside; the depressing and degrading effect of his compulsive sexual encounters; the unresolved anger at what he sees to be the cause of his sexual confusion, such as childhood abuse by a male.

I’m not sure about his qualifications, if he’s just a family doctor I hope that he is referring these young gay men to appropriate support.  I’d suggest with his reputation as a conservative doctor, that the only young gay men who visit him are taught from their religious background that something is wrong.  Van Gend is unlikely to reassure them that everything is ok or that they are normal.  He also then assumes that his patient is having compulsive sexual encounters and that he was abused by a man during his childhood.  None of which he supports.  No indication of numbers or resolutions. He then states:

It trivialises a homosexual person’s suffering to blame it primarily on the external environment – or alleged excess of bullying at schools. There are less insidious means to address the perennial problem of bullying — for all students — than by normalising homosexual behaviour in the curriculum.

There seems little room for doubt about the impact of bullying.  Homosexual people have no need to suffer.  It has been concisely demonstrated in the Growing Up Queer report that external factors do impact on the well-being of gay people.  We as a society should make every effort to minimise suffering for all of our citizens, not just those that he would classify as ‘normal’. He then uses information from The American College of Pediatricians, he acknowledges that they are a conservative medical group and claims that they are represented across 47 states.  He neglects to tell us that their membership is about 100 professionals and that they are a break-away group from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).  They broke away after the AAP supported gay adoption.  Interestingly the AAP has around 60,000 members.  So, who are you going to trust? Van Gend then sets about suggesting that when left alone, young men will turn out heterosexual.  He considers homosexual feelings to be some type of confusion.  He’s suggesting that it’s just a phase that young men go through. Finally, after taking us through the standard rhetoric of what makes someone like me gay and how I shouldn’t be treated as a normal citizen he then talks about HIV and venereal disease.  As if this is the singular most important reason why we shouldn’t treat gay people as normal, because it’s bad for our health:

Even using the simplest, most objective measure of harm – the burden of venereal disease (and in Australia it remains the case now, as for the last 25 years, that around 85 percent of new cases of HIV/AIDS are in “men who have sex with men”) – it is obviously harmful to lock a young man into a lifestyle that he might have avoided, were it not for the assertion of homosexual normalcy, by programmes such as ‘Safe Schools’.

It’s so easy to carry that ‘warning’.  No doubt he still thinks that heterosexual people only have sex after they are married and then only have sex with one person.  He clearly demonstrates the need to educate young people about safe sex.  His method of abstinence has never worked.  History is full of tales of sex outside marriage.  We used to call those children bastards. I don’t understand this concept of locking someone into a lifestyle.  He is referring to the gay lifestyle, of course.  Sexuality is not something that you can pick.  Sure, there are some that don’t fit the mould of one or the other, but generally speaking once you’re happy with your life, why would you need to change?  The sort of lifestyle he is talking about is one I know well.  Pretending to be heterosexual.  There is a lot of pain in denial.  My advice is to avoid it at all costs. Van Gend also cherry picks the ‘venereal disease’ information.  I’m not sure of the percentage of men who have HIV in Australia.  However, he ignores the bigger picture.  50% of those with HIV worldwide are women.  Over 35 million people have died from AIDS related illness.  To suggest that we can make HIV/AIDS disappear by asserting that homosexuality isn’t normal is short-sighted and shows a complete disregard for the reality of our world.  Quite frankly it’s disturbing to have a family doctor practising with such a limited view of sexuality.  I’d be so bold as to suggest it’s just outright dangerous. Van Gend is perfectly entitled to express his opinions but when he takes those opinions into the public sphere and uses his profession as a way to lend it credibility then he needs to be scrutinized and held to account. The one thing missing from van Gend’s letter is his motivation.  Considering his faith background he is very likely catholic and still of the opinion that gay people are disordered and an abomination. While he might not actually stone people like me to death, he probably thinks that his god was on to something with that idea. stoning

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Jul 23

I have been hearing my voice booming around my home as I watch the TV for an upcoming documentary.

Stop using the rules of your religion to tell me how to live my life

The constant theme I hear from people about why I can’t get in married in Australia is mostly based on their religious view that homosexuality is an abomination.  The attitude from religious fundamentalist is the reason that we don’t yet have marriage equality in Australia.

There is a shift going on, slowly but surely.  I read this article in the Washington Post from a Christian who believes that marriage is between one man and one woman.  David Jolly is a conservative politician, but he gets it:

I believe in a form of limited government that protects personal liberty. To me, that means that the sanctity of one’s marriage should be defined by their faith and by their church, not by their state. Accordingly, I believe it is fully appropriate for a state to recognize both traditional marriage as well as same-sex marriage.

My request is simple and can be echoed by everyone who agrees that personal liberty is important.

Stop using the rules of your religion to tell me how to live my life.

The other objection that I hear a lot is along the lines of ‘think of the children’ and the use of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child which states (amongst a lot of other things that are often ignored)

…the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents.

It’s interesting to note the use of the word parents here is left undefined.  It’s also interesting to note that The Universal Declaration of Human Rights says:

All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.

It’s right up there at the top – Article 1.

So get out of my way and let me marry him.

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