Sep 04

The SBS program, Living with the Enemy episode on marriage equality was a 50 minute show shot over 10 days.


That means a lot has been left out as the production team go to great efforts to keep the story moving forward and connecting all the dots.  Tough calls are made on what’s in and what’s out.

I don’t have a problem with that, I’m very comfortable with how things landed, the show was extremely well put together and there simply isn’t room for everything.

It was interesting that David’s brother acknowledges that he is still attracted to men, despite now being married to a woman.  The bit missing is my own journey of being gay in my teens and early 20’s, then pretending to be straight, getting married to Jennie at 26, having two children and then finding that didn’t work and back to being true to myself.

I played the game.  I got married, had children and tried to be a heterosexual.  It’s really hard work and as I said in the show, it took me all the way to 35 to sort myself out.  I can only hope that David’s brother has found happiness in his life.  Denial is a very powerful force that can really mess you up.  I know.  But just because that is my experience doesn’t mean that everyone else will travel the same road.

My two children are an important part of my life.  We have always lived together and they did give a speech at the wedding.  It was wonderful and brought me to tears.

Hello everyone.  I’m Tomas

And I’m Caitlin.

For those of you unaware, we are Greg’s beloved children.

We can’t quite express how overjoyed we are to be at this point, sharing in this moment with Dad and Michael.

Ever since we were young, my sister and I have understood and supported our father’s sexuality, joined him in his fight for equality.

And I speak for the both of us when I say we have never been happier or prouder of him than we are today.

Though it may not be quite what you had hoped, being neither on Australian soil, nor by Australian law, we’re glad to have been here for the next big step of your relationship.

Witnessing the love that you share.

And looking forward to whatever else may come in the future.

Be it another wedding in Australia


Or one of us finally moving out.

No matter what, we have greatly enjoyed being part of this journey, and take great pride in being part of the march that is to come, through blood, sweat and tears.

Congratulations to you both.

It’s signed:

Congratulations on a beautiful ceremony.

With much love, Tomas and Caitlin.

It was fantastic to have both of my children with me on this very important, significant life event.


5 Responses to “The Wedding Day included the Children – Living with the Enemy”

  1. Andrew says:

    I have tears – but good tears

  2. Rob CAVANAGH says:

    The support and love from your children and in fact all of both of your families was wonderful to witness at the pre wedding dinner and at the wedding. I found the omission of your children and marriage to Jennie very curious especially when the surprising existence of David’s gay twin was included even though it was shut down immediately after he acknowledged he was still attracted to men. It seems to me that the anti marriage equality forces base a lot of their arguments on the impact for children in same sex marriages. I know that this issue was thrashed out during the filming but unfortunately the producers seem to have decided to leave this important issue on the editing suite floor. I can only wonder if it’s inclusion would have left the Religious Bigot looking even worse than he did anyway.

  3. Diane says:

    It was a shame ‘Living With The Enemy’ (LWTE) did not include more about your journey Gregory. Especially how you’ve always (with Jennie) put your children’s needs first. Trust me, I know first hand how split families overlook the kids, just to spite each other. You have 2 wonderful, caring, loving children. Also on LWTE it was lovely to ‘meet’ Michael’s parents and hear of their support for you as a couple.

  4. David says:

    I’ve lived a similar experience to that of your initial journey, Greg, most of which you know. It’s incredibly damaging to your soul to pretend to be someone that you’re not, unfortunately it took me until I was 41 to finally be true. Like you, I have the love and support of my 2 (adult) children. I know how I could’ve done it without them.

  5. Robyn says:

    Wonderful blog post. Thanks for sharing this beautiful speech. ;o)

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