I’ve lived in Melbourne for over 15 years now, I’ve become a suburban dweller, mostly leaving behind my rural lifestyle. Michael often comments on the change in my personality as we drive over the Westgate bridge on the way out west to Hamilton.
My journey on a Tuesday morning is touched with a great sadness as we head home to be with my mother as she dies. A flurry of communication yesterday says that she’s expected to die in the next day or two. Of course there is no certainty of when, but this advice from the professionals is never given lightly.
I can feel a change in my mood as we bypass Geelong and head into Western Victoria, it’s a pleasant feeling of fond memories in going home. The landscape becomes familiar and I recognise the buildings in the small towns as we drive through. I’m on the phone to my family in Western Australia, just checking in and seeing how things are going with them. We talk about their plans for coming home, flying and driving.
We go straight to the nursing home, it becomes a rallying point as my brothers and sisters, partners and aunties gather around the bed.
My mum is a frail shell, her eyes are partly open, her mouth closed with cheeks puffing with each exhale, her breathing is shallow.
What a life, this head strong woman that raised eleven children, supported them with numerous grandchildren and great grandchildren. Her involvement in our lives and the great interest in each and everyone of us. Her obvious love for her husband, our dad for over 60 years.
We knew this was coming, and here we are now. Gathered around her bed, laughing, joking, sitting silently, but mostly we wait.
Poignant.
We relive our lives in those last few days. We laugh and wait, and cry and wait, and sit silently and wait. Mostly it’s the waiting but over everything is being together sharing the burden. Greggie, mate, if anything of what I have experienced means anything I pass it all onto you, for your use. You’re one great guy.
Evelyn has always loved & supported me, even after Greg & I divorced. She knew that he and i were still close & that was good enough for her. No judgement. I was the mother of two of her grandchildren, close to Greg, therefore still part of the family. I have so much admiration for her, respect & love. I am with you all in thoughts. May her passing be gentle.
With you GP. Been down that road with my Dad and my Step-Dad. Never gets easier but it is the journey. Sending you my love to my dear friend at this tough time.
Hugz to Gregory
So touchingly and sensitively written. What a treasure you are.