I’ve been married. To a woman. We had two children. We had a great life together. Our wedding day was one of the most outstanding days of my life. Jennie and I had many good years together.
Recently I’ve been going through my old stuff. We both corresponded with each other in the late eighties by writing letters. I actually put pen to paper and Jennie did the same. We lived in different cities. Her in Melbourne, me in Hamilton.
We made phone calls, regularly. Most phones in the late 80’s were connected to a wall via a cable. So you didn’t really carry them about. Jennie would call me at work, so I couldn’t escape to another room or step outside, I had to take the call at my desk, wide open to the public.
Then we’d call at night. Jennie worked nights so sometimes I could call her at work. We’d tie the phone up for awhile, that would make my mother mad. My dad complained about the bill a lot. (Strange, I complain about the bill now too).
And yeah, even when we were married I was gay. There were a lot of strange things going on in my head at the time and it took many years to put all that right. But as my friends and family would tell you Jennie and I were clearly in love. And we were clearly in love. The early days of our relationship were fantastic. I had a deep love her.
That’s really important. It is that love that lead me to marry her. I foolishly thought it would last forever, but things don’t always work out the way you expect.
I’ve moved on now. My life has changed, but Jennie is still in it, and I do whatever I can to make sure she is OK. I’m determined to make sure that she’s taken care of because somewhere I still have feelings for her. Sure, they’re mixed up at times, but let’s face it, our marriage was important and we shared something very meaningful. We also share the parentage of two children.
On April 21st 1990 we got married. The Australian Government sanctioned our marriage, I have the certificate to prove it.
As I said, I’ve moved on. Michael is in my life now. I love him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We keep in touch during the day, we regularly say “I love you” to each other. We share just about every aspect of our lives together. I foolishly think it will last forever! What can I say. He makes me melt. It’s true that we don’t have children together, we do live with two (and sometimes 3) adult children. Our relationship is important. What we share is something very meaningful.
Just three years ago on April 21st 2010 we got registered. The Australian Government didn’t sanction our relationship. The state of Victoria did, I have the registration slip to prove it.
There is no difference in the way I feel now. I’m in love. I know what that feels like.
New Zealand, France and other places allow people just like me to get married. I seem to be living in a backwater. People come to me wide-eye and make positive comments about New Zealand and want to know if I’m going there to get married.
Well no. I’m Australian. If I want to get married again I want to do it here. I don’t want to go to New Zealand, nice as it is I’m sure. The Australian Government wouldn’t even acknowledge my marriage.
Say what you like about marriage. You can believe it to be whatever you want. To me it’s about love. To me it’s about a public commitment to another person. Who cares what the sex of that person is?
I know what love is, I know what marriage is, I have been married to the woman I loved. I now want to be married to the man I love.
From where I stand my Government is preventing me from doing it. There is no good reason to deny me and my partner the right to call each other husband.
We are not second class citizens. We are Australian men, in love and living together as a couple.
The only people in the marriage are the couple. The rest of it is no one’s business.